I'm not sure if you have ever been hurt along the way to trying to meet a fantastic woman, but if you have, then I can share some awesome news with you, and some really powerful tips for getting a great woman.
Let's get right to it: Makmende that Lass
1. THE PAST DOES NOT EQUAL THE FUTURE
If a woman in the past treated you horribly, this does not mean that all women are this way. In our human desire to AVOID pain, we often learn the WRONG lessons from the past.
So for example, if a woman mistreated us, then we as men often try to get the 'upper hand' by learning 'player' or 'pick up artist' tactics or 'control' tactics that boil down to things like pretending you are not interested or even being cold or cruel, or by alternating between being 'hot' and 'cold', showing interest then showing lack of interest, etc.
This same 'game' is often played by women who have been hurt by men as well.
The bottom line is that these games boil down to MANIPULATION. This is the very OPPOSITE of being THE MAN, because "The Game' is the product of INSECURITY and the product of FEAR.
The key is to become a better MAN, not a better MANIPULATOR.
All manipulative tactics ultimately results in something called MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION, or MAD.
So manipulating a woman will result in the nuclear destruction of your relationship or attraction between each other.
So too, a woman manipulating you will result in MAD - Mutually Assured Destruction.
It's too bad that so many men and women are ignorant of this, but the wise men and women who appreciate this fact are able to APPRECIATE the power of trust and integrity and love, and no matter how badly they have been hurt in the past, they have learned that the answer is NOT to manipulate each other- for it always leads to MAD in the end.
You will find love again, you will find a fantastic woman, but you must take this giant step of maturity and emotional growth and courage.
You must become THE MAN in the true and deep sense.
2. THIS DOES NOT MEAN TO BE A DOORMAT
Of course, being good to a woman does not mean that you should allow any woman to abuse you.
In fact, if you accept abuse, you have to take responsibility for it, since no one but you allows yourself to be abused. You have to be strong enough to move ON from the wrong woman so that you can find the RIGHT woman.
This leads me to my NEXT point:
3. THE POWER OF NO
The power of NO is actually the title of a book as well. What it means is that you have to realize that NO can often be a very POSITIVE thing.
So, saying NO to the WRONG woman, means the chance to say YES to the RIGHT woman.
If you say YES to the wrong woman, you are going to be wasting your energy and focus and this means you will be in effect saying NO to the RIGHT woman.
So, learn to say NO to the things that are NOT what you want.
Don't let WEAKNESS make you say YES to the WRONG things. Saying yes to the wrong things means you will be distracted and not even SEE the opportunities for the RIGHT things, the right woman, the right life, etc.
This also includes YOUR development as a man who is truly congruent and who is strong, passionate about integrity, and who is inspiring so this means saying NO to the WRONG types of music, NO to the wrong types of MOVIES, NO to the wrong types of MESSAGES.
If you bombard yourself with the message that women are all a certain negative way, that will filter your perception and make you see things in a very distorted way. So you can see how certain types of music might not be productive.
But if you say NO to the pick up artist messages, if you say NO to the manipulator stuff, you are saying YES to being a better MAN, the kind of man that attracts a great WOMAN.
If you bombard yourself with messages that say you are not worthy or that you are not enough, you will FEEL that way, so you can see how certain men's magazines that try to constantly make you feel insecure would only harm you.
On the other hand, by saying NO to this stuff, you can then make CONSCIOUS choices to see the RIGHT movies, the right music, the right books, etc.
I saw a FANTASTIC film at the theatre called "Earth" and it was inspiring, it was a documentary about nature and how majestic the natural beauty of Earth is, including the natural struggle of how animals go about their daily survival.
I'd way rather listen to "Scarborough Fair" than 99% of what is on the radio. I'm not telling you what to watch or listen to or read, but I am saying that YOU should be conscious and make informed decisions of what you take into your mind it's no different and no less important than what you take into your stomach as food.
It's the food of your MIND.
In life you will constantly have CHOICES, but most people don't even REALIZE this. They end up DOING things and ACCEPTING things because they aren't even AWARE of what is going on- for example, they have no idea how harmful the wrong messages and wrong entertainment and wrong environments are.
But the reality is that no one is FORCING you to do things, or accept things, or listen to the wrong messages.
In religion, myth, and folklore, you ever notice how there is a certain common thread, which is that nobody MAKES you do anything. sure there may be the "villain" the "snake" the "seductress" etc, etc, but the lesson they keep on trying to hammer home is that it is WE ourselves who must make the right decisions.
The fact that every culture on Earth and every civilization has come up with very similar stories and mythologies (see Joseph Campbell's "The Hero With A Thousand Faces") is a hint to a universal truth: To live a better life, we have to learn what to say NO to, and what to say YES to.
So, for example, any time you feel the temptation to do something that goes against your principles just to impress a woman, realize this is TEST for this is your chance to prove to YOURSELF that you are the MAN.
Realize that doing ANYTHING that goes against your principles, just to impress a woman, will only attract the WRONG woman. And by NOT giving into this, you will become even STRONGER in the right ways, which will make you stand out that much clearer from all the other wrong guys when you might the RIGHT woman.
She will see that you are absolutely clear on your values and that you are exactly the kind of man she has been looking for.
This leads to my next point:
4. SCREEN FOR THE RIGHT QUALITIES IN A WOMAN
To me, it's never been about dating tons of women, or getting "notches" on bedpost. It's always been about searching for that super high quality, magical combination of traits that makes for a great woman.
If you allow tons of the WRONG women into your life, you will pollute your mind and emotions and you will require a longer emotional detox process to clean it all up so you can be READY for the right woman.
Too many guys are so focused on getting a woman into bed, it's as if these women are already perfect without even being checked out personality-wise.
When "checking out" a woman, don't just check out her body, check out her personality and her values. Check out how kind she is, check out her compassion, check out her strength of values, check out how disciplined she is, check out how strongly she is committed to doing the right thing, check out if she is willing to be a true PARTNER or just looking for you to do everything.
Check out how strongly she is able to RESIST the pressure of the crazy values preached by many people out there.
Dating is important, so that you PREVENT yourself from getting into a relationship with the wrong woman. Think of dating as a SECURITY check where you are SCREENING to prevent the wrong woman or women from getting into your MIND and your EMOTIONS.
Dating is about finding out who this woman is INTERNALLY and emotionally.
5. GET INTO THE RIGHT STATE
There are all kinds of ways of getting into the right emotional state so you can be at your best when approaching a woman and having a conversation with her.
The best way for you to get into the right emotional state is to physically DO something, because when your body MOVES, you actually change your emotions. Motion creates emotion.
And to be even more precise, the best actions to do are the things that you BELIEVE in.
So let's say you believe in charity, then go out and FIND someone to give a buck to. You will FEEL better and you will also be CONGRUENT to the right values, on a subconscious lever you will be showing this stuff through tiny subtleties in your demeanor. It's almost as if a woman will be able to read your mind and know what kind of person you are--all because you will be in the congruent emotional state to what you just DID recently.
If you believe in HEALTH and vitality, you can go WORK OUT and approach women after.
If you love music, then listen to your favourite music and MOVE to it. It will change your STATE, there is no way you can be in a negative state when moving to music you love. You don't have to even call this 'dancing' what counts is the NATURAL MOVEMENT that it inspires in you.
You can do all the above, you can do something different, but the key is to take PHYSICAL action and DO it.
Ever notice how the best singers don't just say the words but truly put their heart and soul into the song? They make the words dance on their tongues, they make the words soar with emotion into the air. They aren't just trying to get the song over with, they are milking every last word and syllable and having pleasure and fun with it.
And when you talk with a woman, don't talk about things that you don't care about- it will be lifeless and boring. And don't fake it either- instead, talk about positive things and fun things that you really DO care about. And even MORE importantly, LISTEN with genuine INTEREST in wanting to know more about this person rather than just wanting to get this person's number or anything else.
6. GET A LIFE YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT
Too many guys are just trying to learn to FAKE being a cool guy with women.
It's not about being anything with women; it's about being the best MAN you can be.
So when I hear about guys who are learning from "pick up artist" types who teach them to pretend they are busy, i.e. "after you get the woman's number, make sure you tell her you can't meet her that night because you have plans- this will show her you have a life and that you are hard to get" it really makes no sense, since the truth is you really SHOULD be a man with a plan, a man with things on his plate, with meaningful goals.
This way, you never have to PRETEND you are busy with things, and you also actually DO have things to talk about that you care about, that are positive and interesting, and these things also help give you perspectives that you can lend to helping HER perspectives widen as well.
So for example, if you are talking to her about some book she is reading, and she tells you something about ancient history or the character in the book or the story or whatever, you will have RICH PERSPECTIVES and thoughts that you can SHARE with her as well on the very thing she is talking about, and you can also help her see that you UNDERSTAND her and that you can relate to what she is saying.
Learning 'pick up lines' and learning to pretend things like the dating gurus and pick up artists like to do, is no way to develop a powerful connection and a powerful attraction from a woman to you.
7. HOW WOULD YOU BEHAVE IF YOU RESPECTED YOURSELF TO THE MAX?
I say this because it's so easy to think that you are LESS than you really are.
Forget about women for one sec- this has to do with YOU, not women:
How would you behave and speak and carry yourself if YOU knew you were worth a BILLION BUCKS?
Would there be DOUBT in your voice?
Would there be weakness and apology constantly in your voice?How would you respect your own TIME if you knew it was DAMN VALUABLE?
How would you WALK and hold yourself if you knew you TRULY MATTERED on this Earth?
Start walking, breathing, and making DECISIONS in your life based on the fact that you ARE worthy.
If you DON'T do this, you will NEVER even GET to the point where you can SEE just how MASSIVELY this affects your actual RESULTS in the real world in every way- in business, with women, with friends, family, etc.
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